Humor - Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

• 1 cup of water
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• 1 cup of sugar
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1 cup of brown sugar
• lemon juice
• 4 large eggs
• nuts
• 1 bottle Vodka
• 2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is still OK. Try another cup ..... just in case

Turn off the mixerer.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick fruit off floor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pryit loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka to check for konsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a crap.

Check the vodka.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the vodka and fall into bed.

Contributed by: Genevieve of Ravenhall
Thursday, December 12, 2002

Please let me know if you know the correct source for any of the humor pieces. I want to be sure that original sources are credited appropriately.

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Editor's Note:
I've now seen this in a couple of places; please let me know if you know the origins, as I would like to make sure credit is given where it's due.