Humor - Why God Created Children

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve....we have forbidden fruit!"

"No Way!"

"Yes, way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" asked the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and be quiet.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
   Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said..
3. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
4. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
5. Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.

AND FINALLY...

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE: "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN AND KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN".

Contributed by: Tracy DeGarmo
Monday, September 02, 2002

Please let me know if you know the correct source for any of the humor pieces. I want to be sure that original sources are credited appropriately.

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